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Will Rogers
American actor and humorist

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Well, all I know is what I read in the newspapers.
-- Quoted in: New York Times, 30 September 1923

You know, everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
-- Quoted in: New York Times, 31 August 1924

The more you read about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.
-- "Breaking into the Writing Game" in The Illiterate Digest (1924)

Everything is funny, as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.
-- "Warning to Jokers: lay off the prince" in The Illiterate Digest (1924)

The Income Tax return has made more Liars out of the American people than Golf has. Even when you make one out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a Crook or a Martyr.
-- "Helping the Girls With Their Income Taxes
" in The Illiterate Digest (1924)

Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.
-- Syndicated column, November 1927

You can't say civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Quoted in: New York Times, 23 December 1929

There is only one thing that can kill the Movies, and that is education.
-- The Autobiography of Will Rogers (published 1949)

Being a hero is one of the shortest-lived professions on earth.
-- Quoted in: Saturday Review, 25 August 1962

I don't make jokes -- I just watch the government and report the facts.
-- Quoted in: Saturday Review, 25 August 1962

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The selection of the above quotes and the writing of the accompanying notes was performed by the author David Paul Wagner.

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