Wide World of Quotes > George Carlin Quotes

George Carlin
American comedian and social critic

Share this page:

"Smug, greedy, well-fed white people have invented a language to conceal their sins. It's as simple as that. The CIA doesn't kill anybody anymore, they neutralize people, or they depopulate the area. The government doesn't lie, it engages in disinformation. The Pentagon actually measures nuclear radiation in something they call sunshine units. Contra killers are called freedom fighters. Well, if crime fighters fight crime, and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?"

-- Don't Do It Again (1990)

"I look at it this way... For centuries now, man has done everything he can to destroy, defile, and interfere with nature: clear-cutting forests, strip-mining mountains, poisoning the atmosphere, over-fishing the oceans, polluting the rivers and lakes, destroying wetlands and aquifers... so when nature strikes back, and smacks him on the head and kicks him in the nuts, I enjoy that. I have absolutely no sympathy for human beings whatsoever. None. And no matter what kind of problem humans are facing, whether it's natural or man-made, I always hope it gets worse."

-- Life Is Worth Losing (2006)

"That's all the media and the politicians are ever talking about, the things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. That's the way the ruling class operates in any society. They try to divide the rest of the people. They keep the lower and the middle classes fighting with each other so that they the rich, can run off with all the f---ing money. Fairly simple thing. Happens to work. You know, anything different, thats what they gonna talk about. Race, religion, ethnic and national backgrounds, jobs, income, education, social status, sexuality. Anything they can do, keep us fighting with each other so that they can keep going to the bank. You know how I describe the economic and social classes in this country? The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. The middle class pays all of the taxes, does all of the work. The poor are there just to scare the sh-- out of the middle class. Keep them showing up at those jobs."

-- Transcript from Youtube video, The American Dream
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acLW1vFO-2Q&feature=player_embedded ). Also appears in the video "Life Is Worth Losing" (2005) and appears in the book Life Is Worth Losing (2005)

"I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke-free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist. Politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect."

-- "Modern Man" in book Life Is Worth Losing (2006)

"Americans love the mall. That's where they get to satisfy their two most common addictions at the same time: shopping and eating. Millions of semi-conscious Americans day after day shuffling through the mall shopping and eating. Americans love to eat. They are fatally attracted to the slow death of fast food. (...) This country is big-time pig time. Forget the bald eagle. You know what the national anthem of this country ought to be? A big bowl of macaroni and cheese. A big bowl. 'Cause everything in this country is king size, extra large and super jumbo."

-- Life Is Worth Losing (2006)

"Rights aren't rights if someone can take them away. They're privileges. That's all we've ever had in this country, is a bill of temporary privileges. And if you read the news even badly, you know that every year the list gets shorter and shorter. You see all, sooner or later. Sooner or later, the people in this country are gonna realize the government does not give a f--- about them! The government doesn't care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare or your safety. It simply does not give a f--- about you! It's interested in its own power. That's the only thing. Keeping it and expanding it wherever possible."

-- It's Bad For Ya (2008)

"When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts … Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend."

-- Real Time (TV show with Bill Maher), September 9, 2005


101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes

Google: George Carlin quotes

Youtube search: George Carlin shopping
Youtube search: George Carlin shopping malls
Youtube search: George Carlin consumerism
Youtube search: George Carlin eating

Share this page:

The selection of the above quotes and the writing of the accompanying notes was performed by the author David Paul Wagner.

About UsContact UsPrivacyTerms of Use
© 2005-23 Wide World of Quotes. All Rights Reserved.