"Well, all I know is what I read in the newspapers." -- Will Rogers, in: New York Times, 30 September 1923 "You know, everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects." -- Will Rogers, in: New York Times, 31 August 1924 "The more you read about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best." -- Will Rogers, "Breaking into the Writing Game" in The Illiterate Digest (1924) "Everything is funny, as long as it is happening to Somebody Else." -- Will Rogers, "Warning to Jokers: lay off the prince" in The Illiterate Digest (1924) "The Income Tx return has made more Liars out of the American people than Golf has. Even when you make one out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a Crook or a Martyr." -- Will Rogers, "Helping the Girls With Their Income Taxes" in The Illiterate Digest (1924) "Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work." -- Will Rogers, syndicated column, November 1927 "You can't say civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way." -- Will Rogers, in: New York Times, 23 December 1929 "There is only one thing that can kill the Movies, and that is education." -- Will Rogers, The Autobiography of Will Rogers (published 1949) "Being a hero is one of the shortest-lived professions on earth." -- Will Rogers, quoted in: Saturday Review, 25 August 1962 "I don't make jokes -- I just watch the government and report the facts." -- Will Rogers, quoted in: Saturday Review, 25 August 1962

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