Wide World of Quotes > Groucho Marx Quotes


Groucho Marx
American film comedian
(1895-1977)



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What's a thousand dollars. Mere chicken feed. A poultry matter.
-- The Cocoanuts (1929 film)

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got into my pyjamas I don't know.
-- Animal Crackers (1930 musical)

You go Uruguay and I'll go mine.
-- Animal Crackers (1930 film)

My husband is dead.
-- I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse.
I was with him till the end.
-- No wonder he passed away.
I held him in my arms and kissed him.
-- So it was murder!
-- Duck Soup (1933 film)

I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They are upstairs in my socks.
-- A Night at the Opera (1935 film)

Either he's dead, or my watch has stopped.
-- A Day the Races (1937 film)

Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill.
-- A Night in Casablanca (1946 film)

Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
-- Groucho and Me (1959)

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
-- Quoted in Leo Rosten, People I Have Loved, Known or Admired (1970)

When's the game itself going to begin?
-- Groucho Marx while watching a cricket game at Lord's, London, England -- quoted in The Guiness Dictionary of Sports Quotations (1970), compiled by Colin Jarman


From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
-- Quoted in The Last Laugh ( S. J. Perelman, 1980)


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The selection of the above quotes and the writing of the accompanying notes was performed by the author David Paul Wagner.

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