Wide World of Quotes > W. C. Fields Quotes


W. C. Fields
American comedian and actor
(1879-1946 )



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It ain't a fit night out for man or beast.
-- The Fatal Glass of Beer (1932)

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
-- You Can't Cheat An Honest Man (1939 film)

Egbert, is it true that married people live longer?
No, it just seems longer.
-- The Bank Dick (1940 film)

Whilst traveling through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. Had to live on food and water for several days.
-- My Little Chickadee (1940 film)

Never give a sucker an even break.
-- Title of one of Fields' films (1941)

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
-- Never Give a Sucker an Even Break (1941 film)

Hell, I never vote for anybody. I always vote against.
-- Robert Lewis Taylor, W. C. Fields: His Follies and Fortunes (1949-50)


I exercise extreme self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
-- Robert Lewis Taylor, W. C. Fields: His Follies and Fortunes (1949-50)

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
-- Carlotta Monti with Cy Rice, W. C. Fields and Me (1971)

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad.
-- Attributed.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- Attributed.


Last week I went to Philadelphia but it was closed.
-- Attributed.

I spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
-- Attributed quote from W. C. Fields during his final illness.

More W. C. Fields

You Can't Cheat an Honest Man (1939) quotes

My Little Chickadee (1940) quotes

The Bank Dick (AKA The Bank Detective) (1940) quotes


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The selection of the above quotes and the writing of the accompanying notes was performed by the author David Paul Wagner.

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